Troubletones Tapes
by Phyxrak
Summary: The Troubletones take some time out of their busy tour schedule to discuss the internet videos that helped make them famous.


Author's Note: The biggest of thank yous to Skillz and Nic for looking this over for me. This is part of possible future based on the events of season 5. I hope a few of you enjoy. I do not own Glee.

I'm sitting here at a table across from Mercedes Jones in the Troubletones Tour bus. The soulful diva has already given me a hug and offered me a drink even though this is the first time we've met. Across from us are her partners in crime, Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez, spooning together in a hammock. Brittany waves at me from where she is tucked behind Santana. Santana appears to be waking up from a light doze as she attempts to hide a yawn. They look so cute and I am trying not to stare.

"The hammock is Brittany's," Mercedes informs me, bringing my gaze away from them. "She's been obsessed with them since they came back from Hawaii."

I frown for a moment, not recalling this from my research. "I hadn't heard you'd taken a trip."

"It was years ago," Santana explains, "back before all this started."

"Or maybe it was in the middle," Brittany chimes in, kissing Santana's cheek. "That was the best trip."

I smile as I set up my equipment for the interview and find myself intrigued by Brittany's statement. "What exactly do you mean, Brittany?" I ask after fumbling a bit to hit a button on my digital voice recorder. I really need to get my nerves under control.

"Well," she says, drawing the word out in that adorable way she does, "we started the Troubletones in high school, but really it started before that, too. Santana and I were on the Cheerios, but then we joined New Directions. Then 'cedes and Kurt joined the Cheerios for a while. So really, the three of us have been performing together for ten years."

"The Cheerios is the name of the cheerleading squad at your high school correct?"

Nice and easy question. If I start small, I can totally do this.

"National Champions three times while we were there." Santana affirms for me.

I nod and ask my next question. "So the three of you have always been friends then?"

Mercedes barks out a laugh at nearly the same time Santana does. "Oh lord no," Mercedes answers. "These two used to toss slushies on us before they joined glee as Sylvester's spies."

My eyebrows rise at that. "Spies?" Everything I've read about this Sylvester woman, it doesn't shock me to hear this.

"Sue was pissed her budget was cut for glee club," Santana says. "Quinn was mad her boyfriend was making eyes at Rachel. I wanted Quinn's captain spot and Britt…" I looked at Brittany as Santana trails off.

"I thought the spying would be fun," the dancer continues for her girlfriend. "Being double agents was kinda cool, but singing and dancing with my friends was a lot more fun. And it was where Santana started singing outside her house."

"Britt," Santana whines.

"Aww, Satan," Mercedes teases.

I duck my head to try and hide the smile that is threatening to break out on my face. If I stare at them like a giddy fangirl, I'll probably end up tanking this interview. I make a few meaningless notes on my tablet and when I look back up, Brittany is smirking at me. Shit.

"Anyway," Santana continues, "we became this weird mix of popular kids and unpopular kids and there was drama nearly every week."

"Oh Santana you talk like you didn't cause half that drama, especially sophomore and junior year."

"Shut it, Wheezy. Like you were any better, wanting to cut Rachel for solos all the time."

"Again you're one to talk, Satan!"

I sit in rapt silence as the scene plays out before me. These women are clearly competitive divas, but all accounts reported that the Troubletones were actually a trouble-free group. I dare to look back over at Brittany and catch her in the middle of an eye roll as the other women banter back and forth. She lets it go on for a few more moments more before making Santana turn towards her and kissing her silent.

Jesus. Would it be rude to take a picture?

"I'm sorry," Mercedes says after a moment. "Talking about glee sometimes makes us act juvenile."

"It happens to us all," I say with what I hope is a casual shrug. Needing to get the interview rolling again I ask, "Am I correct in assuming that drama over solos is what caused you to leave the New Directions to start the Troubletones?"

Mercedes glances at the couple still kissing in the hammock and shakes her head slightly. "Actually there was a girl at school named Sugar who wanted to start another glee club after Mr. Schue wouldn't let her in New Directions."

"Which was dumb because Sugar's audition was awesome," Brittany says.

Santana laughs. "Britt, she was kinda awful."

"San, that's mean. Besides, Sugar is an awesome dancer."

"Girl was interesting to say the least." Mercedes agrees. "Her daddy had money to burn so he brought in another choir director to McKinley and after some stuff happened with Mr. Schue I quit the club."

"What sort of stuff?" I ask, making a note on my tablet. The three of them grow quiet for a moment, sharing a look between them that I was unable to decipher. Honestly, I'm rather curious because, according to my research, this was during their senior year, when their choir director was named teacher of the year. Perhaps the distinction had been undeserved.

"Mr. Schue is a good teacher," Santana says, "but he did have his favorites and sometimes he got distracted by his personal life."

"It's so weird how he dated almost everyone that helped out our club," Mercedes says with a laugh. "Almost as bad as the rest of us. Do you remember when we were fighting over Puck, Santana?"

"I do," Brittany jumps in with a far off look in her eye. "You both were so hot when you sang that duet."

"Wheezy and I were always the top bitches in the club, no matter what anyone else said," Santana agrees with a nod. "That's kinda how our second duet happened. We killed that song and we were so robbed of those breadsticks."

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand what that means?"

"Our second duet was in junior year and Santana is referring to Breadstix, the restaurant. Mr. Schue offered up dinner for two on him to the winners of a duet contest," Mercedes explains as she stands up and moves to a small refrigerator nearby. She asks if I want a drink for a second time. This time I accept, and she removes three bottles of water, one of which she hands to Brittany and Santana in passing before sitting back down and passing me one as well.

I watch for a moment as Santana holds the bottle of water in her hand as she whispers into Brittany's ear before kissing her on the temple. She almost seems to be comforting her girlfriend and that makes me wonder, but before I can dwell on it, Mercedes starts to speak again.

"We ended up losing to Quinn and Sam, who started dating shortly after."

"As in the actress Quinn Fabray?" I ask, and the way Santana rolls her eyes tells me that she knows I didn't need to ask for clarification.

"Yes she means Mrs. Puckerman. She's about to pop out their third kid, isn't she?" That makes me pause. I had been fairly certain Quinn Fabray and her husband of four years only had one child.

"I think you mean their second, Satan." Mercedes fixes her friend with a glare.

"Right." Santana nods. "Honestly, I'm shocked Puck is a stay home at dad, but then maybe not. He was never as big of a badass in high school as he thought he was."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Brittany says, poking Santana in the stomach and making her laugh, which results in a tickle fight that nearly topples them out of the hammock.

Mercedes looks at me grinning at the display and says, "The way they act now, you'd never know that Santana was once afraid to be with Britt."

My grin fades because there it is. The opening I had been hoping for during this interview. "Until that commercial her senior year," I state, causing the laughter in the room to stop. I almost feel bad, but I do have a job to do here.

"Jesus, I thought we'd get around to the sex tape first," Santana mutters, her eyes clouding over.

"I'm sorry, but you can't deny that there's a large amount of credit to your success to be given to those different videos that circulated in your senior year," I say, sitting up straighter in my seat as I pull up a specific section of notes on my tablet. "First, there was that campaign ad made for Salazar's bid for congress. Ironic, really, that he attempted to slander Sue Sylvester by implying she was a lesbian, only for him to lose to Burt Hummel, the proud father of an openly gay son. Still, the end result was Santana getting outed to at least half of Ohio."

"Then there is the sex tape Brittany uploaded that went viral. It's still one of the top search results for both Santana and Brittany." I hope the fact that I have watched it isn't evident on my face.

"I can't believe people even give a shit about either of those these days, I mean it was like ten years ago." Santana said. "I made my peace with them a long time ago."

"You should try living with them on this bus. I've never seen the sex tape, but lord knows I've walked in on them enough," Mercedes chimes in.

"We have better ones, too," Brittany offers, throwing a wink in my direction. "I just can't distribute them because Lord Tubbington wants top billing this time and I told him that's my job. We're still in negotiations."

Santana elbows her in the stomach and tells her to shut up. "The world already knows how hot we are Britt-Britt, I don't think we need to share any more of it with them."

"Speaking of hot," I say, gesturing towards Mercedes, "there was also the video of Mercedes' rendition of Disco Inferno that was uploaded by someone that got her noticed by an Indie label. It was the first time a video of the three of you was put online. What can you tell me about that?"

"That was all Trouty Mouth," Santana answers, and she laughs at the puzzled look I give her. "Sam 'Trouty Mouth' Evans is what you should call him."

"Don't do that," Mercedes cuts her off. "But she's right. The video was uploaded by Sam, an ex-boyfriend of, well, all of us actually."

"Don't remind me," Santana mutters.

"Anyway, Sam uploaded it in an attempt to help me achieve my dream of being a singer. I was kinda pissed he did it without asking me, but it worked. My time out in L.A. ended with me getting a solo contract with Sony at the time. They also said they watched the videos of our Troubletones performances in high school that Britt put up on her Fondue for Two channel."

"Hashtag FierceFemmeFenomenal," Brittany says. "I actually helped Sam upload that video."

"I never knew that." Mercedes looks at her friend.

Brittany shrugs. "I had the editing software. So I helped him make us all look awesome and make a Youtube account."

Santana turns in the hammock to face Brittany and says, "I get Wheezy not knowing this but how did I miss it?"

"It was during an afternoon that you were working on your song for that week's Glee assignment. You wanted to surprise me," Brittany explains. "Sam actually asked me to put him in touch with whoever did my editing for FF2. I invited him over that afternoon and he was kinda shocked I did my own editing."

"And yet you still dated him."

"Santana," Brittany says, the tone of her voice suggesting that they've had this conversation more than once.

"I take it you don't like Sam very much," I ask Santana.

"She likes him just fine," Mercedes cuts in before Santana can open her mouth. "If anyone should be sore at him, it's me. I dated the boy three times, even after knowing he likes to jump into relationships too fast."

"And go from flirting to married in zero to sixty," Santana finally chimes in and I laugh. "That video was just him trying to win 'Cedes over if you ask me, but I can't deny it worked. It's weird to think that some of the shit that happened senior year actually turned out to be fucked up blessings in disguise."

I nod in agreement. "In the few years that followed the notoriety you each achieved on the internet, Mercedes ended up in L.A to start with, Santana in Louisville and Brittany repeating her senior year. Eventually, the three of you ended up on a mall tour together in under two years, right?"

"Oh lord, that was a crazy time," Mercedes laughs. "But so much fun with these two, once they got their heads outta their asses."

I turn to Santana and Brittany then. "I was under the impression that you two had reconciled before this and had spent several weeks on vacation."

"We did," Santana answers after a few moments. "But we had a fight because I wanted to return to New York in time to see the opening night of the Funny Girl revival. Britt hadn't realized until our friend Kurt called about it that I'd timed our return from Hawaii so I could see it. She's not exactly Rachel Berry's biggest fan."

"I might've been ok with it if you hadn't kept it from me," Brittany says to Santana. "I regretted not going with you almost as soon as I got back to M.I.T. to get the rest of my stuff. Especially when they talked me into helping with a quick project that ended up taking three weeks to finish." She kisses Santana on the forehead before saying to me, "I was totally gonna surprise her and apologize, but she had skipped town to film a Yeast-I-Stat commercial."

I laugh. "Those were classic, by the way." Brittany and Mercedes laugh with me as Santana sighs heavily.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up." Santana grumbles. "I put the money I made from that commercial to good use if you ask me."

"Yeah you did." Brittany agrees before kissing her.

"Are you two ever going to explain that?" Mercedes groans as she asks them. She then says to me, "I used to assume they just meant something involving sex, but these two mention it way too often for it to be just that."

Mercedes and I turn expectant looks towards the couple in the hammock. I scoot my voice recorder closer as they exchange nervous glances. Brittany toys with the collar of her t-shirt.

The sound of a phone ringing saves them and has Mercedes fishing into her pocket. After looking at the screen she says, "'Scuse me, it's my husband." She gives me an apologetic look before stepping away from the table to answer it.

"Oooh hiiiii Grant!" Brittany says loudly. Santana makes kissing faces at Mercedes, who swats at her as she walks past them.

"So, Brittany. You ended up documenting the Mall Tour and that's how a lot of Mercedes and Santana's performances ended up online," I say after taking a sip from my bottle of water. "Then the three of you began doing more numbers together towards the end."

"I really wanted to share Santana's awesomeness with the world. She wanted to be famous and I told her once that I'd help her build her dream. There's always been something special about her and Mercedes' singing together, they are like vocal soulmates."

That grin I keep finding on my face is back as Brittany speaks about her girlfriend and friend's singing prowess. "As the success of your current album continues to reflect," I say. "All three of you can sing and dance, something I don't think your label expected from the Park and Bark Tour. Brittany's uploads of your group numbers were getting more attention around the internet than Mercedes's solo performances. That's actually how I first discovered you guys."

"That's because our combined hotness can't be ignored." Santana says. "It took some convincing, but eventually the label agreed. They rebranded Mercedes with us as the Troubletones. It was rough at first, but here we are, eight years later, and still going strong."

"A success story built on the back of hard work and some not always welcome internet fame. Very much a product of the digital age," I say as Mercedes comes back from her phone call. "What is next for you ladies after this tour ends in a few weeks?"

"I think we are all gonna take some personal time," Mercedes answers. "Grant and I have been discussing babies."

"Finally!" Brittany cheers, fist pumping.

"Gonna have some tiny-tots 'Cedes?" Santana smirks at her.

"Shut it, Satan." Mercedes snaps, but she's grinning at her friend.

"What about you two?" I ask Brittany and Santana.

Santana reaches under the neck of Brittany's shirt and lifts out a thin chain that has a ring with a small diamond on it. I gasp and Brittany is giving Santana a very hopeful smile. "Wanna finally make this official, Britt-Britt?"

Brittany nods into the kiss she presses against Santana's lips.

I am pretty sure I just died.

"Oh my god, Santana is that really how you're gonna propose after all this time?" Mercedes says, shaking her head.

I lean across the table towards Mercedes. "You don't suppose that ring was bought with Yeast-I-Stat money?" I ask conspiratorially.

"Satan! Tell me that is not a Yeast-I-Stat ring!" Mercedes rounds on her friends. Brittany is laughing now and Santana has her face buried in Brittany's neck.

The blonde nods. "I've had it since Reno. We've just been waiting for the time to be right."

I stand up quickly after pocketing my voice recorder. I should leave before I make an idiot out of myself. "Thank you for having me today ladies, and congratulations to all three of you. Good luck with the rest of the Tour."

Mercedes walks with me off the bus and we both hear Brittany say behind us, "Santana, we should totally make a video announcing our engagement."

"OK, Britt-Britt, but let me call my mom first."


End file.
